Never Say to a Cop

dd

  1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)dd
  2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
  3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
  4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good  job!
  5. Are You Andy or Barney?dd
  6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
  7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
  8. I pay your salary!
  9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
  10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
  11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
  12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" 

(email 2005-12-12, Ken O)

BONUS Material (from Aug '04)

GOOD

A NJ policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting
many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up
the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The
officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading
"TIPS" and a bucket full of money.

(And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated
radar post in Morristown, NJ. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being
cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded
with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the NJ State Trooper walked
to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are
going to sell me a ticket to the NJ State Police Ball."

He replied, "NJ State Troopers don't have balls."

There was moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just
said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car, and left.

She was laughing too hard to start her car.

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